Cultivating the Courage to be Honest

I was having a conversation with my friend Holly. She said something to me that I needed to hear. Maybe you need to hear it too:

“Ability does not equal obligation. You’re capable of achieving anything, but that doesn’t mean you have to.”

I recently had a lovely woman send me an email. In it, she asked: What are you creating right now? Have you started a podcast? A new workshop? How can I help you share your latest offering?
 
This was a very thoughtful gesture and, in the past, I would have felt obligated to send her something. Hell, I probably would have created something new entirely to send her. After all, opportunities shouldn't be wasted, right?
 
But sending her something didn't feel right. I wasn't in a place emotionally or mentally to offer or create anything.
 
I have gotten to a point in my life where I realize rest is as important as action. Stillness as important as creating. When we honor the seasons of both, they feed each other.

At a workshop I went to years ago, the teacher spoke of a conversation she had with a woman. The teacher asked this woman, "Would you like to get lunch this week?”
 
The woman closed her eyes, tuned in, and said, “I’m getting a no right now. Can I reach out to you next week?”
 
The teacher was surprised by this woman’s response and also intrigued. "How can she be so free?"

The woman wasn’t worried about taking care of my teacher, pleasing her, or even explaining herself. She was interested in tuning in with herself and what she had the ability to give.

The teacher didn't tell us this story because she was let down by the woman's response. She told us because it inspired her. She wants this kind of honesty for her life too.
 
There is this real fear of being perceived as a bitch. I have thought of this story many times since the workshop. It inspires me too and, still, part of me thinks, "but couldn't she have said it more nicely?"

Probably, but often we lose sight of our truth when we focus solely on being nice.

Brene Brown says, “Clear is Kind.”
 
I agree. Being clear with others shows them you respect and trust them enough to let them know the real you.

We can tiptoe around the truth and fluff it up with pretty words. Or we can be more direct. Both work.

Less fluff doesn't have to mean less heart.
 
I sent an email back to the woman offering to help me that felt both kind and honest.

Even though that little, nagging, "you should have said yes" voice still remained, I'm getting better at honoring the season I'm in. 
 
There is so much in this world we can do.
 
But...

What do you really want to do?

What do you need right now?

What are you genuinely able to give?
 
More honesty. Less obligation.
 
Love,
Jamie