I spent one quarter at Pacifica Graduate Institute instead of the intended five years. I had already spent 20 plus years as a student. It was something I knew how to do well. To be honest, being a traditional student doesn’t require a ton of creativity. With diligence, you can do quite good in school. I liked that feeling. Knowing I could succeed. But very quickly in that first quarter, I knew I didn’t want to be there.

Last Friday, I woke up and wanted to spend my morning at the complex pool. I picked a podcast, brewed some coffee, packed blueberries and a sandwich, and made my way over.

I was having a conversation with my friend Holly. She said something to me that I needed to hear. Maybe you need to hear it too: “Ability does not equal obligation. You’re capable of achieving anything, but that doesn’t mean you have to.”

In November 2016, I got a call from Kirsten, my adventurous college friend. “Hey girl, I’m backpacking through South America in January. Wanna come?” She’d laid out a dream itinerary full of nature, cities, art and culture. Opportunities like that don’t come along often. I jumped on it.

This weekend was interesting. I bought brownie mix then realized I don't have the proper pan, so I made one giant brownie cookie instead. I proceeded to eat most of it, getting up from the couch to cut giant slabs from the thing while watching episode after episode of The Office. It felt good. The rest. The laughter. The nothingness.

Oprah recently did a beautiful interview with Lady Gaga. In it, Lady Gaga candidly shared her personal journey with mental health, authenticity, purpose, shame, and lots of other deeply inspiring stuff.

Last summer, I received a call from the nurse at my doctor’s office. “We got the results back. We found precancerous cells on your cervix. We recommend getting them surgically removed as soon as possible.”

When my grandmother died five years ago, it was the first time in my life I experienced deep, aching grief. The kind of grief that overwhelms you. And all I wanted was for it to go away.